Pre-Mommy Childbirth Fears

About two years ago, I was going through the library's collection of all the What to Expect books and Googling all online articles and forums about childbirth! All through my pregnancy, I was certain of learning about everything that would be happening when my ball of a baby would emerge from me. But it was about the 8th month that I began to really let my nerves get the best of me. While I hadn't fully committed to a drug-free birthing process, I was strongly leaning that way, even when my doctor informed me that she wanted to induce one week before my due date. Up until the labor and delivery nurse asked if I wanted the epidural, I debated whether or not I really should . . .

Would my child be normal if I used drugs?
Would I be effected negatively if I used drugs?
Could I handle the intense contractions brought on by pitocin?
Would pitocin cause me and my baby harm?
Can't I just stay pregnant?

A friend of mine worked as a nurse anesthetist and personally knew the one who'd administer the epidural, so I went ahead and got it -- for me, there were no problems from the epidural, and I believe my child is fine (in spite of her "normal" toddler antics).

Fear can be so debilitating, robbing us of enjoyment and fulfillment of life. Looking back, I wish I'd just learned about the options and chose what I wanted, regardless of scare stories that I was told -- just taken the truth at face value. I was so wrapped up in my childbirth fears that I failed to research what would happen the first week or month after childbirth (and I even wanted to stay pregnant?!?) -- now that one threw me for a huge loop! But I guess if I knew it all, this blog would not have been born, and I'd have been on a different road. Thankfully we all survived and are well . . .and we'll just have to conquer our fears one day at a time.

This post is part of the Blog Dare's prompt: Pre-mommy childbirth fears.