This blog grew out of my realization that motherhood adds another dimension to a woman's identity. And I wish I had recognized these much earlier.
Top 5 things every mommy needs
5. Time without being touched...by anyone -- Pretty self-explanatory, but moms are needed by someone almost their entire waking day (and some moms are needed regularly during their not-so-waking day too). But we need down time. I'm convinced that I need a "nothing box" too!
3. Proper nutrition and exercise -- Some meals and snacks are almost too easy to put together, but we do need to look carefully at what goes into our bodies, as our bodies process it all for our long-term benefit or detriment.
2. Her own interests -- A mom's life can so easily be consumed by her kids and family that she forgets about her needs and wants. Totally ignoring her personal desires can kill the spirit of that vibrant woman.This is for good mental health!
1. Contentment -- My mommy life was not how I pictured it. For several months, I wanted my life to look like my friend's life, and I wasted my own energy which I could have used more positively. Whether the top 5 needs are met as adequately as we'd desire, we have to choose to be satisfied with the life we have, not necessarily complacent, but joyful for what we do have.
I have purposely numbered incorrectly because I want to know what else should be on the list!
Photo Credit: Image: Naypong / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I agree with every single one of these, hah. As a new mom to twins, I've recently found that I need that me time. So what if I get less sleep because it's after everyone goes to bed? It is what helps me wind down from the day. If I don't get it, the next day is just all screwed up.
ReplyDeleteI think friendship/kinship/companionship should be on there. It's hard to be a stay at home mom and not have anyone to talk to or confide in except your husband. Who do you talk to when you're mad at him?
:)
Don't forget...a sense of humour. I found myself being SO serious as a new mom. Now that I have a teen and a tween, I laugh alot more, sometimes at them, sometimes at myself, hopefully modelling that it's an okay thing not to take it all too seriously.
ReplyDeleteGreat post.
Peace and good,
Chelle
That's a great list. Let's see I agree with all you have and would add something along the lines of your partner perceives he is working just as hard as you (aka you both think your giving 110%) and you (the moms) have the power to create a happy home.
ReplyDeleteWow, as a mom of six I have to say that number 2 on your list is so important.
ReplyDeleteIt is so easy to lose who you are as a person when you are trying to be a mom.
Not sure what I could add to the list. Looks like you've got it covered.
Stopping by from the 100 Comment event!
I'm not a parent, so I couldn't say, but moms and dads definitely need time to grow together as a couple and not just as parents.
ReplyDeleteI like that you mention having your own interests. I know some moms that get completely wrapped up in their families needs that they lose sight of what they need and never get that outlet
ReplyDeleteWhat a great list! I'm going to have to agree with Beloved that a sense of humor is vital. If you never laugh and enjoy your kids,(and husband if you have one) then something is seriously wrong.
ReplyDeleteI will soon be relating to this mommy life, being 7 months pregnant now. This is a reasonable list.
ReplyDeleteI think #4 didn't publish!!
ReplyDeleteGreat items, I am a mom of an 18-mo old and I think blogging is now my "interest" but I wish I had an outside the home interest too. Can't wait to read more on this blog :)
Great post! Being a Mom is the hardest job I have ever loved! I think #2 is very important. You have to have your own interests or you run into severe burn out! I also think enjoying the simple things in life and laughing (a lot!) are important! Thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteOooooh do I need time without being touched. LOL. I have two kids and one is still nursing at 2 and a half and I feel hands all over me in some way all day. At night I hide in the shower.
ReplyDeleteMotherhood is the greatest though. I enjoy my little ones and there isn't a day that I would trade places with anyone. Bank accounts, maybe! :)
Wise words. Moms have needs too, something which gets lost in the shuffle of motherhood.
ReplyDeleteI think that all moms need adult social engagements. I have figured out that staying home with the kids, takes me back socially and I need adult time to have interesting adult conversations. I think it helps stimulate the mind and helps refresh it!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Beloved that a sense of of humor is vital. You gotta be able to laugh or it's going to be a long hard journey. Especially when you have teens. Thanks for the great post. I'm here from the Blogelina 100 Comment event!
ReplyDeleteI'm not a mom, but think it's great that you remember to take time to be your own person. I see so many friends get so involved in doing it all that they pretty much get burnt out.
ReplyDeleteVery good thoughts, not always easy to achieve though.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what else, but I really like the top two. They've been the hardest for me to make a priority.
ReplyDeleteYour list is so important. When I was raising my children, I neglected to take a moment for myself, because women were taught that their family came first. Now, my children are grown, and they each know the importance of "ME" time.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy. You'll be a much "happier" mom, and your family will be happier too.
HUGS!
I love this post. It's so easy to get caught up in being a wife and mother that we can forget that we are an individual with our own needs.
ReplyDeleteIt's so easy to get caught up in being a wife and mother that we completely neglect our own needs. I think it's important to make time for ourselves so that we can be healthier, happier moms.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all of these. If my daughter isn't on me, it is a dog or my hubby. Sometimes after my daughter is in bed asleep, I just want to relish alone time. A long bath is very relaxing.
ReplyDeleteI do strollercize several times a week and it is fantastic. My daughter loves being outdoors, I get in exercise, I get to be social with others, my daughter gets to be social when we get the kids out in the end. It kind of combines 2 and 3 in the perfect way.
For me the fifth would be about confidence. Smile and take in all the (unsolicited and solicited) advice but ultimately go with your gut and have no regrets. Have the confidence that you know what is best for you and for your child. Don't feel bullied or criticized by doctors, media, other parents, bloggers, family, friends, etc. if your child is following a different schedule, meal plan, potty training, crawling, etc. My daughter has given me the gift of confidence I was lacking.
I agree with all of these! I have two young children and I find that my fiance and I have a hard time getting a "date night". We try to go out once a month and have some adult time and conversation -- it is a very nice break from the regular routine!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you found the beauty in motherhood. It is what you make of it. If a woman thinks her children are tying her down, she hasn't found the freedom in giving of self. If she will be glad when the kids start school, she hasn't discovered the joy in mothering. My kids grew up all too soon. Enjoy your beautiful child. Tomorrow he'll be in high school and the week after, he'll be in college. A lovely post. Thank you. Deb
ReplyDeletedate nights. Hah i just noticed the person above me said that too. i noticed AFTER I typed. a massage or bath or just mommy time. Girl time with girlfriends helps too!
ReplyDeletelol I kept recounting. I agree that making self a priority is best for everyone.
ReplyDeleteRaising up a family is a serious business but taking out time for ourselves as mothers will help us take our family more seriously.
ReplyDeleteI love it! I feel #4 should be a great companion or great supportive friends.
ReplyDeleteGood list. I hadn't thought of the need to not be touched. . .but I definitely need some down time every day! I think another thing a mom needs is a listening ear or adult conversation every day. It's important to talk to people on our own level.
ReplyDeleteYou have a great list. I think that I would add that you must spend time working on your relationship with your spouse. We have to remember that they were there before the kids and will be there when the children are grown. We have to make that relationship priority. I won't say that is easy because I definitely agree that sometimes I just want to be alone. :)
ReplyDeleteI love your list. Number one was super important to me when I had babies and toddlers. My youngest is now four so some of that clinginess is gone these days. It's amazing how overloaded physically you can be. My husband never really understood that one. "Don't touch me!"
ReplyDeleteWhat would I add? A supportive and loving husband. You need someone to be your other half, someone who takes care of you as you take care of everyone else, someone who is committed to your family like you are. I wish every woman could have the blessing of an awesome man . . . unfortunately there aren't enough awesome manly men in the world.
Alone time is great! Sounds like you realize what is important. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI would also add, time alone as a couple. This seems to disappear once a little one is there 24/7. Make a date night, even if it's once a month, get a sitter and go out and have fun!
ReplyDeleteI agree with several of the replies that said adult conversation and humor.
ReplyDeleteI love all these suggestions... Yes a mommy needs her time.. I think #4 should be getting to eat her own meal from time to time- I am always having to share mine! :) xoxo-Rachel
ReplyDelete#5 is huge! I would also say a great support system - friends, family - even an online community can make those crazy dilemma's that all moms face seem less daunting.
ReplyDeleteRory at The Tourist Baby
So very true! I struggle with each of those at times but it helps to take a deep breath and try to refocus and reevaluate when life gets a bit tiring.
ReplyDeleteI would add a good support network. Ideally, you'd have a loving husband and family that will help you out but sometimes that doesn't happen, I know. Fortunately, I do have a loving husband but he's not home a lot because he works 2 jobs. I've also had to swallow back jealousy when I see grandparents that are an almost daily, integral part of family life. That's never been the case with our family and I've had to accept that our parents just aren't that type of grandparents. But instead of lamenting that, I try to focus on my own relationship with my family because I'm the person they're going to see most and will have a huge impact on them.
Christy
www.alivinghomeschool.com
Great list - I think it is so important to be "balanced" in our lives - and a big part of that is taking care of ourselves!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I think every mom needs a partner who cherishes her and is equally committed to raising great kids and establishing a beautiful family culture.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I remember those early mom days. Now my girls are grown, and I'm "Honey" to 3 year old GrandBoy!
ReplyDeleteWhile motherhood is wonderful, we truly need to make a point of not loosing our whole identity and definitely try to do something just for ourselves. Even it's a quick brisk 15 minute walk.
ReplyDeleteBeing a mother requires so much giving of self . . . body, soul, time . . . just so much investment! Your tips are certainly on track, as well as the daily reminder I need to get my strength & wisdom & JOY from Jesus Christ.
ReplyDeletehmmm . . . where did my comment go? as I was saying, I think your points here are great! being a mom takes so much giving of self and it's important to stay "fueled up" for the job! I know that daily times of relationship with Jesus Christ are the only true source of encouragement & wisdom & JOY for this very important job of being mom!!
ReplyDeleteI definitely struggle with the contentment issue - I get tired easily and I see other moms with so much energy and making it look SO easy to get it all done... I need to remember to just go at my own pace!
ReplyDeleteAs a mom of an 11 year old, I really and truly understand where you are coming from! I would add on the list to be sure to get a full night's rest as often as possible. The older I get, the more I value sleep! LOL!
ReplyDeleteI think that every mom should blog! I wish that I had this when I was a new mom... for me the transition to new mommy hood was lonely and isolating, I think that having a blog would have helped me to feel connected.
ReplyDeleteI love number 1 because I don't like to be touched! If I had to add one - it would be to have a shower and potty time without children watching or discussing things during it! lol
ReplyDeleteWonderful list! Sounds like you have everything under control.
ReplyDeleteThe missing piece is time alone to meditate on God's Word. He is such a great help throughout the day!
ReplyDeleteI agree about the touch! Sometimes I just need my own personal space - not that I get it!
Even though I'm not a mom, this sounds like a perfect list!
ReplyDeleteI would say we need to be wives too; not just mommies. It is so important for me to spend time with my husband without our children. All the others you mentioned are so true! I totally agree!
ReplyDeleteFor me it is quality time spent with my husband- without the children! I totally agree with the others you mention here.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE #5!!! For years I felt bad about it, but it is so true!!! I have five kids who are older now, but I still need "me" time! Great post.
ReplyDeleteI would add to the list, mommies need to know that they need to have their own dreams and passions so they can show their children how to live their lives with freedom. I try to pursue my hobbies and projects that I feel passionate about because I want my kids to know that its okay to chase your dreams and to try new things without letting fear of failure stop you. I think I've done a really good job of this with my kids.
Great post, take care of yourself because you are important to your kids.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I am not a mother myself, I'd say I agree with all of these!
ReplyDelete4. Patience so you can roll with the punches. A good motto "This too shall pass."
ReplyDeleteI think every mom needs support! I could never be the mom I am without my husband. I remember when my daughter was just a few months old she would get so cranky towards the time dh was coming home. I couldn't do anything to get her calmed down. The minute she saw dh, she would calm down and be so content.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I was going to say, "she forgot number 4". I love your list. I hardly ever have me time. I agree with Tami, I think meditating on God's word is so important in your daily mommy life.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all of these!! Definitely some time alone, both away from the house and at home is important. Time to have lunch with girlfriends or go shopping. And time at home just to relax and read or whatever it is you enjoy. I just posted about my struggle with the mommy demands from my 2 children and #3 is due in 6 weeks. I definitely have my freak out moments!!
ReplyDeleteGood luck in your journey as a mommy!!!
This looks like a good list. I'm not a mom yet, so I'm not sure what else is lacking. But I do agree with Tami above. I (even not as a mom) defnitely need daily quiet time to meditate on God's Word and write down my thoughts in my journal. It's such a positive beginning to one's day!
ReplyDeleteAmen! I agree with these. I'm not a mom yet, but even so, I agree with Tami in that quiet time along to mediate on God's Word and write down my thoughts in my journal is necessary every day. It's such a positive start to one's day!!
ReplyDeleteLOVE this, and am going to print it out for my family. I am a mom to 4 one is a teenager but the younger 3 are 6, 4, 2 years old.
ReplyDeleteLove this and am going to share it with my family. I am a mom to 4 kids and never get a moment to myself.
ReplyDeleteI have 4 kids oldest is 19 and the youngest is 4. I completely agree when can loose ourselves but it is ok to put ourselves first too!
ReplyDeleteIt can be very hard giving and giving all of the time. We all need some time where we can be refreshed and regain a sense of what our mission in life is.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Tami above. We can add setting time to meditate on God's Word. That will definitely refresh and encourage any mom who might feel tired or burned out.
ReplyDeleteI love this. It is so true. Especially number 1. I was just telling a friend the other day that it took me awhile to realize that my life would never go back to its old "normal state" and that I had a new normal, a normal that I needed to realize would constantly be changing as my little man grows! Being content in the fact that my life is indeed an adventure, always changing, has made a huge difference in my attitude on the harder days when things are more chaotic than calm.
ReplyDeleteGreat list! Love that you left one out. How about SLEEP!!!!! Something most moms never get enough of. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm here from the 100 comment event.
Please stop by my parenting blog: www.viviankirkfield.wordpress.com
Thank you for saying we need time without being touched - I thought I was the only one!
ReplyDeleteLove it!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you have seen the movie "Date Night" - but I cracked up (out loud - in the theater - with a bunch of 20-somethings who were NOT laughing cuz they didn't have a clue!) when Claire Foster said this - "If anything, I fantasize sometimes about being alone. There are times when I just thought about, on my worst day, just you know, leaving our house and just going some place like checking into a hotel and just being in a quite room by myself, just sitting in a quite air-conditioned room, sitting down, eating my lunch, with no one touching me, drinking a Diet Sprite, by myself. Look, I just wanna have one day that doesn’t depend on how everyone else’s day goes."
Love it!
Blessings!
Lori @ http://Mothering-Matters.com
Love it!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you have seen the movie "Date Night" - but I cracked up (out loud - in the theater - with a bunch of 20-somethings who were NOT laughing cuz they didn't have a clue!) when Claire Foster said this - "If anything, I fantasize sometimes about being alone. There are times when I just thought about, on my worst day, just you know, leaving our house and just going some place like checking into a hotel and just being in a quite room by myself, just sitting in a quite air-conditioned room, sitting down, eating my lunch, with no one touching me, drinking a Diet Sprite, by myself. Look, I just wanna have one day that doesn’t depend on how everyone else’s day goes."
Love it!
Blessings!
Lori @ http://Mothering-Matters.com
Love it!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you have seen the movie "Date Night" - but I cracked up (out loud - in the theater - with a bunch of 20-somethings who were NOT laughing cuz they didn't have a clue!) when Claire Foster said this - "If anything, I fantasize sometimes about being alone. There are times when I just thought about, on my worst day, just you know, leaving our house and just going some place like checking into a hotel and just being in a quite room by myself, just sitting in a quite air-conditioned room, sitting down, eating my lunch, with no one touching me, drinking a Diet Sprite, by myself. Look, I just wanna have one day that doesn’t depend on how everyone else’s day goes."
Love it!
Blessings!
Lori @ http://Mothering-Matters.com
Hmm, good list. I would add time alone with your spouse.
ReplyDeleteI would say dont take everything too serious. Enjoy your children because they grow up fast!
ReplyDeleteRight ON!! #5 is my favorite. Someone is CONSTANTLY touching me these days... {Sounds strange to say, but any mother knows exactly what that means!!!!} :)
ReplyDelete- Nicole @ MamaNYC
www.MamaNYC.net
So true! We need time for ourselves so we can be the best moms. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I need this daily or even weekly, but just once in a while, I'd like an hour to do whatever I want (even if it's not productive) and not have to think about checking things off of my constantly growing to-do list! I feel like every "free moment" I have while the baby is napping is spent trying to do housework, wash bottles, pump, write, prepare dinner, etc. For once, I would like to enjoy one of baby's naptime without having this long to-do list hanging over my head. I'm not sure if this is even possible though until my child is in college.
ReplyDelete